abandoned wife

From the back cover

"When will I be back, Jov? Govan and I are already at the airport. Why... Why did you change your mind? Do you want to leave me here?" I asked my husband from the other line.

I looked at our son whom I am carrying now. This is the day I've been waiting for. The day we'll return to the Philippines, and I've tried convincing Joavani several times to bring us back.

I was so happy when he told me that. That we can finally go home with our child. But he called because he wanted... Only Govan, only Govan to go back, not me.

"Just follow what I said, Gotchelle... Govan will come home first. Don't worry, I'll still set a schedule for when you'll come back," he said, and I let out a sigh.

"I've waited for this day for months, Jov..." I said, and tears welled up immediately. My chest tightened, and it felt hard to breathe.

"Please... When I choose a day to bring you home, I'll be the one to pick you up, Gotchelle..."

"Why are you doing this to me, Joavani? I thought... I thought everything was over for you? After you... had our child undergo a DNA test and found out that you... you're really his Dad and not someone else--"

"We're only talking now, Gotchelle. So don't let us fight because of that. Yes, all that is no longer with me. I understand, and I know the truth. Just please, follow me," he pleaded. I sighed again and caressed my son's face.

"Don't you wonder, Joavani? Why I only sent you the DNA test results of our child? Why until now you still don't know what Govan looks like?" I asked with a smile, and tears started to fall. My chest tightened, and I felt the pain.

"Gotchelle..."

"He's just like you, exactly like you, Joavani. No doubt... he's your son. That's why I didn't send you his photos because I want... I want you to meet him as your son without any doubts... Jov... Okay, I'll follow what you said. Just... just take good care of our child while... while I'm not here, okay? I love him so much, Jov. I love our child so much," I said and kissed Govan's head wholeheartedly before handing him over to his babysitter.

"Gotchelle?"

"When they arrive, call me immediately, Joavani. Go on..." I said and ended the call.

"Ma'am, are you sure you won't come with us?" my son's babysitter asked with concern. I shook my head.

"I hurt my husband so much before, and I didn't appreciate him just because... I wanted someone else. But he's not hard to love, so I'll follow what he wants. His orders for me. Just please, take care of my child, okay?" I said, and she nodded.

Govan extended his hand as if he didn't want me to go, and when I held it, he gripped it tightly.

"Mam-ma..."

"See you when I see you, my son. Mommy loves you, always," I said with teary eyes as they started walking away, and it felt like a heavy stone was pressing on my chest.

My tears fell like rain due to the continuous dripping. I waved to him even though he tried to look away and was already crying.

This is what Joavani wants, what my husband wants, so I'll follow. I still hope that someday I'll leave this country, but it didn't happen.

Because when he called me and said he would pick me up, I refused.

How will I go back home? How will I face him when... I'm useless? Because when I was about to go home from the airport, I didn't expect that an accident was waiting for me, causing me to become disabled.

I can't walk anymore, so if I go home to my family, I'll just be a burden to them. So, I chose to stay here... for several years. Yes, it lasted that long.

I often tell Joavani that I'll come home next month, but it just passes without me fulfilling it. Because I deliberately avoid continuing...

He won't need a wife in a wheelchair anymore.