I Ghosted A Tyrant And Woke Up In His Dungeon Chapter 1

I thought I was just online dating a guy who was way too deep into his own fantasy world. Some tech-bro LARPer with a massive god complex who insisted he was a sovereign king.

He was incredibly committed to the bit. If I disagreed with him, he’d threaten to have me dragged into the courtyard and executed.

Honestly, it cracked me up.

I treated him like a high-maintenance Tamagotchi. Every morning, I’d check in on him just to keep my streak alive.

“Your loyal subject grovels before the Crown. Slay, Your Majesty. Literally.”

When he went on a sprawling rant about the coastal guilds hoarding all the salt and starving the peasantry, I humored him. I dropped a YouTube link for a DIY solar desalination rig.

When he told me the Northern Raiders were breaching the borders with heavy artillery, I did a quick Google search and forwarded him the chemical ratios for black powder.

Eventually, the novelty wore off. It started getting a little too weird, so I blocked him.

I never expected that when I woke up the next morning, I wouldn't be in my apartment.

I opened my eyes and found myself staring at a damp, stone ceiling. I was in a literal dungeon.

And the only thing on my person was my iPhone.

Hands trembling, staring at a screen that miraculously still had a signal, I opened my blocked contacts list.

The next morning, I was released from the cell.

"The King is overjoyed!" the guards announced. "A general amnesty for the realm!"

* * *

I had somehow been transported to another dimension, armed with nothing but a smartphone.

Because I was wearing my pajamas—what this world considered bizarre, scandalous rags—and had no identification papers, my starting point in this new reality was maximum security.

I didn't even waste my breath screaming about my innocence. Instead, I grabbed the woman shivering in the cell next to me.

"Are you absolutely sure this is Valera? And the King’s name is Roman?"

My cellmate gave me a long, hard look.

Then she immediately flagged down a guard and snitched on me for speaking the Sovereign's birth name.

They tacked another three years onto my sentence.

I slumped against the cold stone wall, pulled out my phone, and frantically scrolled to the very top of my chat history with the guy I thought was just a roleplayer.

[I am Roman, Sovereign of Valera. You dare disrespect the Crown? I will have you dragged into the square and beheaded!]

What did I even say to that back then?

Oh, right.

I had replied: [Lmao, my royal lungs are hurting from laughing so hard. Sure, and I’m the resurrected King Arthur. If you wire me fifty grand in Bitcoin, I’ll awaken the Knights of the Round Table and we’ll conquer the world. I’ll even make you my top general!]

His response had been a masterclass in earnest gullibility.

[Is this truly the Ancient King? How do I transfer this ‘Bitcoin’? Can I simply burn gold offerings at an altar for you?]

It had been a long time since I’d encountered someone so purely, unironically dense. I didn’t even want to keep the scam going; there was zero satisfaction in outsmarting him.

So, I had hit him with the truth.

[I’m messing with you, Your Majesty. If you shake your head too fast, do your own ears slap you in the face?]

He lost his mind. He bombarded me with furious texts.

[You dare make a fool of the Crown?! I will eradicate your entire bloodline! You will be drawn and quartered!]

I had been having the time of my life. [Ooh, am I getting the medieval torture package? Can we use a fleet of My Little Ponies to pull me apart?]

Roman had gone silent for a few minutes.

[Are you a demon? What manner of sadistic beast uses miniature painted horses for an execution?]

At first, I really thought he was just a guy with a severe delusion. But as time went on, I realized his world-building was flawlessly consistent. He knew politics, strategy, and economics better than most professors.

He was a literate delusional guy.

So, he became my electronic pet.

[Your loyal subject grovels before His Majesty. May your reign be as long as a CVS receipt!]

At first, he tried to virtually execute my extended family every day. When he realized that did absolutely nothing to deter me, he just gave up and leaned into it.

[You may rise, my Queen.]

[Thank you, Your Majesty. May your bowel movements forever be smooth.]