My ID Hit the Layoff List, I Left in Ten Minutes Chapter 2

First thing I did when I got home was draw the curtains.

Second thing was toss the cardboard box into a dusty corner.

Third thing, I collapsed onto the couch and turned on the TV.

A food documentary was playing, focusing on slow-smoked Texas brisket.

The bark on the meat looked perfectly dark, the fat glistening and rendering down.

Perfect.

I watched the screen for about ten minutes before my phone buzzed.

It was a message from Marcus, my old boss.

"Luke, did you really leave? I just talked to HR, and they said you signed the papers. Why didn't you wait for me?"

I replied with a simple "Yep."

My phone buzzed again.

"Man, don't panic. Let me see if I can get them to roll it back..."

"Don't bother, Marcus. The ink is dry, and honestly, it's fine."

"But..."

"All the handover documents are in the shared drive. The passwords are there too. Just have Pete take over."

"Pete? He barely knows how to install a printer driver..."

"Then he'll have to learn."

I flipped my phone face-down on the couch and went back to watching the brisket.

Half an hour later, the phone started vibrating violently.

It wasn't Marcus this time.

It was the departmental group chat.

Messages were flying in one after another.

Pete: "@All, uh... the internal payroll and HR portal Luke used to manage is down. Does anyone have the admin password?"

Three minutes later.

Pete: "Urgent! Anyone? I'm locked out."

Five minutes later.

A guy from Marketing popped into the chat: "Our project tracking platform is completely inaccessible. It says the security certificate expired. Who's running this?"

Ray: "...That was Luke's domain."

Marketing: "Where is he?"

Ray: "He's gone. Laid off today."

Marketing: "WTF??"

I quietly left the group chat.

Not my circus, not my monkeys.

The brisket segment finished, followed by a piece on wood-fired Italian pizzas.

My phone buzzed again.

A direct message.

From Ray.

Ray and I got along well enough, occasionally grabbing beers after work.

"Luke, I'm looking at your handover folder on the shared drive. Quick question..."

"Yeah?"

"The 'Core Credentials Master List' is password-protected. What's the key?"

I stared at the screen for three seconds.

"It's in the metadata tooltips."

A minute later...

"I don't see any tooltips?"

"Hover your mouse over the file icon and hold it there for two seconds. A dialog box will pop up."

Two minutes later...

"Luke, it popped up. But it says: 'This master password is tied to the active administrator's security token. Upon employee termination, access is automatically revoked. Please contact your IT Systems Architect to reset.'"

"Then contact the IT Systems Architect to reset it."

"Who the hell is the IT Systems Architect?"

"Up until ten o'clock this morning, it was me."

There was a long silence from Ray.

So long that I thought his phone had died.

Then he sent a single word: "Damn."

I locked my phone and went into the kitchen to boil some pasta.

Before the water even reached a boil, there was a knock on my door.

I walked over and peered through the peephole.

A middle-aged man in a slightly rumpled suit stood there, clutching a briefcase and wiping sweat from his forehead.

I didn't recognize him.

"Can I help you?" I called out.

"Mr. Benson? I'm from Horizon Holdings' administration department. My name is Mason."

I opened the door.

Mr. Mason took a deep breath, trying to summon a professional smile.

"Mr. Benson, look, regarding this afternoon—"

"I'm not coming back."

His smile froze.

"I haven't even said anything yet—"

"You're here to ask me to come back to work, aren't you?"

The look of sheer panic on his face told me everything.

"Well, Mr. Sinclair sent me personally. He said there was a massive clerical error in the layoff list. Your employee ID was never meant to be on there. It was all a misunderstanding..."

"Mr. Mason."

I leaned against the doorframe.

"You have a copy of the exit agreement I signed, right?"

"Well, yes—"

"Take a look at the stamp on it. Is that the official corporate seal?"

"Yes..."

"And the date? Is it today?"

"Yes, but—"

"Then do you really think a legally binding bilateral contract can be dissolved by calling it a 'misunderstanding'?"

Mr. Mason's mouth opened and closed, opened and closed.

He looked exactly like a fish gasping for air on dry land.

"Mr. Benson, please. If you could just come back to the office, we can negotiate the terms of the agreement—"

"I appreciate your hustle, Mr. Mason, but my pasta is on the stove. If I don't get back to it, it's going to turn to mush."

I gently closed the door.

Through the wood, I could hear his muffled voice: "Mr. Benson? Luke? Please reconsider! I'll wait out here!"

I went back to the kitchen, drained the pasta, and tossed it with some garlic, olive oil, and red pepper flakes.

Simple, clean, and perfectly al dente.

It tasted infinitely better than anything from the company cafeteria.

Eventually, the hallway went quiet.

Mr. Mason had left.

I finished my meal, washed the dishes, and decided to take a nap.

My phone screen kept lighting up, notifications piling up on the lock screen.

I glanced at them.

One of them was an automated system-wide email from Horizon Holdings.

Subject: Retraction of Third-Quarter Personnel Notice

I clicked it open and read the first couple of lines.

"Due to an administrative data entry error, Employee ID HZ-20210315 (Luke Benson) was mistakenly included on the list. The notice regarding said employee is hereby retracted..."

Too late.

I tossed the phone onto my nightstand.

Time for a nap.

I was a free man now.