My Sunshine, My Gloom Chapter 1

My childhood best friend was bright and cheerful, like the sun itself.

Even his rejection was swift and absolute, leaving no room for daydreams. He’d introduce me to his friends, for example. And I’d see a boy hiding behind a column, peeking out at me with half a face.

As someone who’s a sucker for a pretty face, I thought, Well, he’s not bad.

After the gloomy introvert started dating me, he began to shine. And the golden boy, my sun, went mad with jealousy. He got completely wasted, clutching the hem of my shirt, his eyes red-rimmed.

“You want… me.”

And then I saw the other boy, the one hiding behind the column, his knuckles white around a golf club.

As someone who’d rather not end up on a true-crime podcast, I thought, Absolutely not.

* * *

“I like you.”

I confessed to my childhood best friend, Greg.

He froze for a second, then burst out laughing as if I’d told the funniest joke in the world, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

“Is this a ‘try not to laugh’ challenge? Not bad.”

But when his gaze met mine, the laughter died on his lips. I watched his expression carefully, waiting for his answer, trying my best to convey the depth of my feelings.

“We’ve known each other since we were kids, and I’ve always had a crush on you,” I said, my voice earnest. “I just… wanted you to know.”

Greg fell silent, his dark eyes fixed on me. I looked down, my palms slick with sweat.

Then, I heard his teasing voice from above me. “Chloe, don’t mess with me.” He reached out and gently flicked my forehead. “I always thought of myself as your big brother.”

I looked up at him. The usual warmth in his eyes had been replaced by something dimmer, more serious. He lowered his voice.

“Chloe, I’m not as great as you think I am. You’ve had me around your whole life, and you don’t really have any other close guy friends. That’s why you think I’m special.”

I opened my mouth to argue. “But—”

He cut me off instantly. “Besides, you’re not really my type.”

His tone was light, almost joking, but the finality in it was unmistakable. He took a small step back, creating a little distance between us, and flashed a carefree smile.

“We’re better off as friends.”

A summer breeze blew past, drying the sweat on my skin and leaving me feeling cold. The walk home had never felt so long. I remember shamelessly crying the whole way.

Greg followed behind me. But he never once stepped forward to offer a word of comfort.