No Room for Me in This Family Chapter 2

The next morning, the click of the front door opening startled me awake.

Mom stepped outside with a bag of trash and nearly jumped when she saw me curled up beside the door. "You scared me half to death! Why are you sleeping out here? Why didn't you come inside?

"Seriously, Elowen? We just made you walk a little farther yesterday. Is all this really necessary?"

"I didn't know the code." I rubbed my eyes, still groggy. "I tried a few different ones, and then the lock disabled itself."

Mom looked at me as if I'd said something ridiculous. "Have you studied so much that you've lost all common sense? The code is Hugh's birthday."

"You never told me that."

"Didn't we?" She barely paused to think about it. "Well, you could've guessed."

She said it as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. Maybe to everyone else in the family, it was. Hugh was their little treasure, after all.

Mom headed downstairs to take out the trash. I turned back to the keypad and entered Hugh's birthday. The lock clicked open immediately.

Of course.

A bitter smile tugged at my lips.

Last night, I'd even tried my own birthday. How stupid of me.

I couldn't remember the last time I'd had a real birthday celebration.

My birthday always fell during the school term. At first, Mom and Dad would wait until the weekend and celebrate when I came home. Later, the cake and family dinner turned into a phone call and some money in my account.

Then, Hugh was born. After that, even the money disappeared.

All I got was a text.

"Happy birthday, Elowen! Things are a little tight right now with Hugh's formula and diapers, so we won't be giving you birthday money this year. When you're home, we'll all go out for something nice."

That had been it.

I stepped inside and was about to close the door when Mom came back up from taking out the trash.

"Mom, when did you change the front door lock?"

"Oh, that." She stepped past me. "It's because of Hugh. Whenever I take him out, I've got the diaper bag, groceries, his stroller, all kinds of stuff. Half the time, I don't have a free hand to dig around for my keys. This one has facial recognition. It's much easier."

I didn't say anything. I closed the door and looked at the sleek new smart lock.

It reminded me of something from years ago. There had only ever been four keys to the house.

One for Dad. One for Mom. One for Grandpa. One for Grandma. There wasn't one for me.

If I wanted to get inside, I either had to come home with one of them or knock and wait for someone to let me in.

"You don't need one. You're away at school most of the time anyway.

"Why waste money getting another key cut? Just knock. Your grandpa and I are almost always home."

Back then, I'd suggested getting a keypad lock instead. Dad had immediately dismissed the idea. A waste of money, he'd called it.

Now we finally had one. It was just not because of me. And somehow, the person who had once wanted a keypad lock the most was the last person in the family to learn the code.

"Well, look who's finally home." Grandma glanced over when she saw me, then immediately turned her attention back to Hugh. "Why did you come in with your mother?"

"I was locked out all night."

Grandma looked up again. "Why didn't you knock?"

"I did. Nobody answered."

She was sitting on the living room rug with Hugh, showing him how to stack wooden blocks. Hugh ignored her careful tower and smacked two blocks against the floor instead, delighted by the sharp clacking sound.

"Then, why didn't you knock louder?"

"I'd already walked for more than an hour in the heat. I got heatstroke."

Grandma gave a dismissive snort. "Oh, please. You're too delicate; that's your problem. You spend all your time buried in books and never exercise. A little more walking would do you good."

I thought back to yesterday. When I'd stood on the side of the road waving after the car, Grandma had turned around. She'd looked right at me.

So, she had seen me. She just hadn't wanted them to stop.

I didn't have the energy to argue anymore. My head still hurt, and all I wanted was to crawl into bed and sleep.

I headed toward my room.

Behind me, Grandma was still playing with Hugh.

"That's it, bang them together!" she cooed. "Look how strong you are. Stronger than your sister already. You could even keep her locked outside."

My hand tightened around the bedroom doorknob. I said nothing.

Just as I was about to shut the door, Dad spotted me in the hallway. His eyebrows rose in surprise.

"Oh, you weren't in your room?" he asked. "I thought you were still asleep. I didn't wake you for breakfast because I figured you could use the extra rest."

I looked at him. Then, I smiled. I couldn't help it.

His concern sounded almost convincing.

So, no one had worried about me all night. No one had even noticed I was gone.

If any of them had bothered to check my room, they would have seen that my bed was empty. If any of them had opened the front door to look for me, they would have found me curled up right outside.

However, no one had. When it came to me, there was always an excuse for overlooking something. With Hugh, nothing was ever overlooked.

In the winter, even giving him a bath became a family operation. They would turn on the bathroom heater well in advance, then bring in a portable space heater to make sure every corner of the room was warm.

Only once the bathroom was perfectly cozy would they carry Hugh inside and start getting him ready for his bath. They were terrified he might be cold for even a minute.

I went into my room and closed the door.

Then, I crawled into bed, curled up, and pulled the covers tightly around my body.

I didn't bother wiping my face. I simply lay there and let the tears soak slowly into my pillow.