Painting My Life Without You Chapter 1

When the photo of my boyfriend and my best friend wrapped in each other's arms hit the campus forum, everyone else seemed to breathe a collective sigh of relief.

"They're just so gorgeous together. Honestly, it was only a matter of time."

"I never understood why a guy like Jude, who's basically campus royalty, was with someone as average as Megan in the first place."

Even my own roommate, Bella, whispered it to someone else when she thought I was out of earshot: "I mean, you have to admit, they really do look perfect together..."

Whenever I brought up the gossip, Jude would just run his fingers through my hair, offering that effortless, boyish smile of his.

"She tripped, Megan. I caught her before she hit the pavement. Some idiot with a camera made a big deal out of nothing. You're not actually jealous, are you? You know you're the only one for me."

And it was true that in public, Jude never hid me. He would introduce me to his colleagues and friends with complete ease: "This is Megan. My girlfriend. We're getting married right after graduation."

But then came the senior gala.

A waiter stumbled, sending a tray of scalding soup flying, and Jude didn't hesitate. He lunged forward, throwing his arm around Valerie’s waist to pull her out of harm's way. The hot liquid splashed over his hand, but his eyes never left hers.

I stood a few feet away, watching the tears spill over my lashes, my chest tight.

"Who are you?" I wanted to scream, the words choking me. "What did you do with my Jude? Give him back."

* * *

The senior gala was a blur of deafening music and clinking glasses, but in my head, the world had gone dead silent. I couldn't hear a thing over the rushing sound of my own pulse. My eyes were locked on Jude’s right hand. It was already turning a raw, angry red from the scalding soup, but it was still resting on Valerie’s waist.

He froze, realizing what he was doing, and quickly pulled his hand back, stepping toward me.

"Hey, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

He wiped the tears from my cheeks, his touch as gentle and reassuring as it had been for the last ten years. "Are you stressed about graduation? You've been overthinking everything lately, Megan. I told you, I have everything handled. You just need to focus on being happy."

But I couldn't stop staring at his hand. I tried to speak, but the words felt like dry ash in my throat.

A few feet away, Valerie watched us, a faint, unreadable smile playing on her lips before she held up her phone. "Jude, the team group chat just pinged. We need to jump on a quick online meeting."

Jude frowned. He grabbed a glass of warm water, plated two slices of the chocolate fudge cake I loved, and gently guided me into a chair by my shoulders. Finally, he pulled his phone from his pocket and pressed it into my hand.

"It'll only take a few minutes. Wait for me here. You can see me right from this spot."

"Be good. Don't overthink."

Having arranged my world so neatly, he turned and walked off with Valerie to a table two rows over.

Beside me, Bella sighed dreamily. "God, Megan, you are so lucky. Where does one even find a guy like Jude? Ten years, and he still treats you like you're his whole world."

I looked past her to the two figures sitting side by side, their silhouettes perfectly aligned under the dim venue lights. My smile felt incredibly heavy.

On the drive home, Valerie sat in the back, keeping a polite, respectful distance.

The car hummed in the quiet night until she suddenly spoke up. "By the way, Megan, one of my mentors is hiring a digital illustrator for his indie game studio. I can put in a good word for you if you're interested."

Before I could even process the offer, Jude’s brows furrowed as he looked in the rearview mirror. "She's doing fine as she is. Besides, I'll be making enough to support us both."

Valerie’s smile stiffened. She leaned back, her voice tinged with mock defensiveness. "Right. Forget I said anything."

The silence in the car grew thick and awkward. I looked at the two of them—each staring stubbornly ahead—and felt my chest tighten.

Half an hour later, Jude pulled up to her apartment building. Valerie grabbed her designer bag, gave me a polite goodbye, and closed the passenger door with a sharp, heavy thud.

Jude scoffed, shifting the car back into drive. "The attitude on her. We have to work together starting next week, and honestly, she's already exhausting."

He reached over, taking my hand in his. "Forget about her, baby. I didn't even get to eat at that meeting, I'm starving. Let's go home. I want some of that late-night pasta you make."

I looked down at our joined hands, quietly pulling away to stare out the window.

His phone kept buzzing with work notifications as we drove through the neon-lit streets, but my mind was miles away.

Jude had graduated at the top of his finance class, landing a coveted analyst role at a top-tier investment firm in New York. He was brilliant, ambitious, and destined for success. Everyone praised him, usually followed by a quiet, pitying note about his rather ordinary girlfriend.

Back in freshman year, when he and Valerie first went viral on the university forum for their matching looks and sharp wits, I had asked him, terrified, if he would be happier with someone who could run at his pace.

He had laughed, tapping my forehead. "What does it matter how successful she is? To me, she’s just a stranger. You're my home, Megan."

But now, as he unlocked the car door, the question that had been clawing at my throat finally slipped out.

"Jude."

"How did you know exactly where her apartment was?"