Declaring War on My Nightmare Roommate Chapter 1

While I was deep in studying for the GREs, I rented a room in a shared house to have a quiet place to focus.

The day after I moved in, one of my new roommates dropped a bombshell in our group chat.

"Hey everyone, big announcement! I've decided to apply to grad school too. To make sure I get in, I've put together some 'House Rules'."

Then she unleashed this ridiculously long list of demands.

"No pets, no cooking at home, no ordering takeout after 9 PM, no showering after 9 PM, no playing music out loud..."

* * *

"One: Studying is exhausting, so I need total quiet. That means zero noise in the house, anytime."

"Two: I'm really sensitive to cooking smells – they give me headaches. So, no cooking allowed. Period."

"Three: I don't like animals. No pets in the house. And if you touch an animal outside, make sure you don't smell like it when you come back."

"Four: The sound of the shower is too loud and disrupts my studying and sleep. No showering after 9 PM."

...

"Eight: No eating in your rooms. The sound of chewing distracts me."

"Nine: No using anything scented, like perfume. I hate strong smells."

"Ten: To avoid disrupting my studies, you must adjust your schedules to match mine."

It was my first time sharing a place, and I couldn't believe I'd landed a roommate this nuts. I was speechless.

There were three of us in the house, all supposedly prepping for grad school. How could she possibly think these demands were reasonable?

Nobody replied in the chat, so she doubled down, declaring, "Starting today, I'm in charge here. You all need to follow these rules."

That did it. My temper flared, and I fired back.

"Who do you think you are? You're applying, fine, but so are we! What gives you the right to boss us around? Get over yourself!"

Silence in the chat for a couple of seconds. Then, a flood of angry voice messages from her.

"How dare you talk to me like that? You just moved in, and you're already defying me?"

"Let me tell you, getting into grad school is my top priority. Anyone who messes with that will regret it!"

"I'm warning you, back off, or you'll be sorry!"

Wow, tough talk. Almost scary.

Except I'd dealt with plenty of entitled blowhards like her back in college.

"Doesn't matter who I am. Your grad school plans are your business, not mine. You have no right to control what we do!"

She lost it, sending a stream of voice messages basically cursing me and my entire family out.

I ignored her and went back to studying.

Before heading home, I saw a friend request from the other roommate, Megan. I accepted, and she immediately texted me.

"Sarah, seriously, be careful with Jessica. You just got here, so you don't know. This is her second time applying, and she's got a chip on her shoulder about everything. She already drove another roommate out. If you want peace, don't piss her off."

So that's why Megan kept quiet while Jessica was laying down the law. She was scared of her.

Well, I wasn't. I'd been living in dorms since middle school. I'd seen every kind of weirdo roommate imaginable. I knew exactly how to handle someone like Jessica.