I Refuse To Be Your Backup Chapter 1

After graduation, Will told us he’d only managed to snag two VIP pit tickets to the music festival.

I was already typing a message to Daisy, ready to apologize for not being able to go with her, when his screenshot of the ticket confirmation popped up in our group chat.

"Daisy and I are going in," his text read. "Iris, you can watch the big screen from the general admission lawn, right?"

Daisy immediately sent a crying emoji.

"Iris, I’m so sorry! I’ve been dying to see this lineup forever. Do you mind letting me have this one?"

I wanted to tell her that I had let her have things more times than I could count. But in the end, I deleted my draft—I really wanted to go too— and left the screen blank.

Standing out on the dusty grass of the general admission lawn, squinting through the crowd, I watched Will pull Daisy close, shielding her from the rowdy push of the pit. During the headliner's signature love ballad, the camera swept over the front row, broadcasting them onto the massive stadium screens.

Daisy and Will looked at each other and laughed.

The entire crowd erupted into cheers. "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" echoed all around me.

Will didn't pull away.

It was only after Daisy posted the photo on Instagram that Will finally sent me a text.

"Don’t overthink it. We were just playing along with the crowd."

As the finale fireworks burst in brilliant colors overhead, painting the sky in fleeting shades of gold and violet, I silently tapped the screen and left our three-person group chat.

* * *

The gray notification You have left the conversation flashed on my screen, and then my phone fell dead silent.

Around me, the massive crowd from the festival began to surge toward the exits, guided by the drone of security guards shouting through megaphones. I slipped my phone into my pocket, letting the human tide carry me toward the subway station.

I had just reached the turnstiles when a hand tapped my shoulder.

"Iris, why did you leave the group?" Will’s voice cut through the noise behind me.

He was holding two unopened bottles of water, his dark curls damp with sweat, framing his face with that effortless charm he’d always had. Daisy hovered right behind him, wearing Will's black windbreaker.

I had practically begged Will to bring that jacket before we left the house, knowing the New England evening air would turn brisk. Now, it was wrapped tightly around Daisy’s shoulders. The oversized sleeves hung past her fingertips, making her look delicate, almost bird-like.

Daisy peeked out from behind him, clutching a canvas tote bag hand-signed by the lead singer. It was the exclusive merchandise reserved only for the first fifty VIP ticket holders who made it to the barrier. I had explicitly asked Will weeks ago to help me get one.

Seeing me look at it, Daisy avoided my eyes, her hand instinctively pulling the bag behind her back.

"Iris, please don't be mad," she murmured, her voice carrying that soft, trembling vulnerability that always made her sound like the victim. "I got so excited down there that I spilled my drink all over my shirt. Will only lent me his jacket so I wouldn't freeze."

She paused, then slowly brought the tote bag forward, draping it over her chest. "And this... I had so much loose stuff, and Will happened to grab it, so he told me to use it to hold my keys."

Will casually offered me one of the water bottles. "We texted you in the group but you didn't reply," he said, his tone carrying that easy, familiar reassurance he used whenever he wanted to smooth things over. "I figured you’d left early. They only gave out one tote bag. Daisy’s never been to a festival like this and didn't bring a bag. If you really want one, I'll find one on eBay tomorrow and buy it for you."

I didn't reach for the water. Droplets of condensation rolled down the plastic, dripping onto the dry concrete, leaving dark, fleeting stains.

"Don't bother," I said, looking him dead in the eye. "I don't want a secondhand copy."

Will's hand froze. His brow furrowed, and his expression hardened as he pulled the bottle back. "Iris, we all came out to have a good time. Can you not be such a buzzkill? It’s literally just a bag."

"Exactly," I replied, my voice flat. "It’s just a bag signed by my favorite artist. Keep it. Give it to her."

I turned on my heel and walked toward the rideshare pickup zone.

Will called out my name. "Iris!"

I didn't stop. Within a few yards, I heard Daisy’s soft sniffling. "Will, is Iris mad at me? Maybe I should give the bag back to her. Really, it’s fine..."

Will’s footsteps slowed to a halt. "Don't worry about her," his voice drifted over the evening breeze, filled with that comfortable certainty he always had when it came to me. "You know how she is. She gets moody, but she cools down fast. She'll be fine by tomorrow."

I pulled my headphones out of my pocket, jammed them into my ears, and cranked the volume to the maximum, letting the raw, gravelly voice of the indie band drown out the rest of the world.

It was past midnight when I got home. The house was dark, and I slipped my shoes off by the pale glow of the streetlights shining through the window.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. It was a direct message from Will.

"Did you get home safe?"

"Daisy lives all the way across town and it’s too late for her to take the train alone. I'm driving her home first."

"I made a new group chat. Accept the invite."

"Don't take tonight to heart. Let's grab that sushi place downtown tomorrow, okay? We'll put this behind us."

I stared at the green bubbles popping up on my screen. Without responding, I flipped the phone face down on the nightstand and went to the bathroom to wash my face.

In the mirror, my eyes were rimmed with red. Will and I had been in each other's lives for twelve years. From kindergarten playdates to high school lockers, we were a permanent fixture in each other's worlds. He had grown comfortable with my understanding nature; he relied on my capacity to be the bigger person.

But ever since Daisy moved into the house next door to his sophomore year, Will had slowly started asking me to yield. Move seats so Daisy could sit next to him. Let her borrow my AP Lit notes. Give up my spot on the debate team trip because she was anxious about traveling alone. And now, it was music festival tickets, his jacket, the signed merchandise.

He assumed I would always be waiting in the exact same spot, ready to wipe the slate clean the moment he tossed a sweet gesture my way.

But Will forgot one crucial thing: even the most patient person gets tired.

I patted my face dry and walked back to my bedroom. From the bottom drawer, I pulled out a thick, heavy college planning binder. I had spent a month building it, filling the pages with color-coded tabs, essay outlines, and admission requirements. Every single tab pointed to universities in New York City. That was the city Will and I had promised we'd conquer together.

I opened the first section, staring at the bold red circle around Columbia University’s Pre-Med program. Will’s grades were slightly better than mine; he wanted to major in Computer Science at Columbia, and he had made me promise to apply to the same school so we wouldn't be separated.

I picked up the eraser on my desk. Slowly, deliberately, I rubbed away the red pencil circle. The paper began to fray under the friction, leaving behind nothing but a faint, smudged gray shadow.

My phone lit up again.

Will: "Why aren't you replying? Are you seriously still mad?"

Will: "Meet me at the school library tomorrow morning. We need to submit our final enrollment decisions."

I stared at the text, left it unanswered, and clicked the power button.