In This Life, I'll Grant Your Heartache Chapter 2

News of the Princess's Choosing spread through Alderwyn overnight, and I became the laughingstock of the city.

"Princess Eleanor used to insist it had to be Lucien and no one else, didn't she? And now she's chosen someone else? Which lady of prestige would dare marry him after he's been publicly rejected like that?"

"He must have done something filthy to disgust Her Highness."

I heard every single word of it, but I let them all pass. I had heard far worse in my past life.

...

Soon, ceremonial wedding robes were delivered from the palace.

Valerian changed into the crimson robe and smiled smugly as Mother affectionately straightened it out. "You look stunning, Val. Take good care of each other after you marry Princess Eleanor, okay?"

Father sat to the side, poring over a map of Alderwyn as he decided which shop he would buy for Valerian as a gift.

As I stood outside the door, I suddenly remembered the day of my wedding in my past life.

Valerian had been so upset that he fell sick, and Mother was so worried about him that her eyes were swollen, but Father had scolded me coldly.

"How can you bring yourself to dress up so lavishly when your brother is so sick? Do you want to make him feel worse?"

In truth, I should have understood long ago that they didn't love me.

Mother had suffered a difficult labor giving birth to me and decided I was bad luck. So before I was even two months old, they had sent me away to my grandparents, who lived in a remote estate near the border.

There, Grandfather taught me to ride and shoot a bow, while Grandmother stayed up late sewing my riding clothes by lamplight.

When I scraped my knees, Grandfather would carry me home on his back, while Grandmother, her eyes red-rimmed, cursed the uneven training grounds.

Grandfather died on the battlefield the year I turned ten, and it was only then that I was brought back to Alderwyn.

But Mother found me crude, and Father thought I had no manners. Even Valerian looked me over with disgust and asked, "Is this a new servant you got me?"

To please my parents, I put away my lively nature and learned to read and write like Valerian. I also mimicked his refined manners and propriety. Bit by bit, I molded myself into the person they wanted me to be.

Later, I met Eleanor again at a palace banquet.

She had once stayed for a time in the army camp at the border with the king, and we rode wild horses together. She had held my hand and said, "Luke, you were born to ride with the wind."

But later, she was the very person who'd locked me up in the rear courtyard and broken both my legs.

Snapping out of my thoughts, I turned and was just about to leave when Valerian suddenly called out to me.

"Luke, Princess Eleanor wants me to go with her to Bellgrave Gardens to try out the horses there. You should come too."

Then, before I even had a chance to refuse, he pulled me into the carriage.

But when we arrived at Bellgrave Gardens, I saw at a glance that Valerian was riding Starlight, the horse Grandfather had personally chosen for me.

I hurried forward. "Give me the reins!"

Valerian smiled provocatively. "Can't bear to part with it? But Princess Eleanor has already given it to me!"

He leaned close, his voice extremely soft. "You had Grandfather's affection when you were at the border, and after returning to Alderwyn, Princess Eleanor has always been concerned about you. What makes you deserve that?"

With that, he drew a dagger and drove it hard into Starlight's belly. Starlight let out a piercing neigh and charged madly toward the fence.

Valerian screamed, "Your Highness! Save me!"

Eleanor rode over at full speed and ordered her guards to pull him from the saddle.

Valerian, pale with fright, stuttered, "Y-Your Highness, I only wanted to try Luke's horse... I-I suppose I shouldn't have touched it."

Eleanor didn't ask a single question. She simply strode forward and lashed me hard with her horsewhip.

Fiery pain instantly flared across my back.

The servants rushed up and forced me to my knees.

"You knew Val isn't skilled in horsemanship! How dare you hurt him! It seems I've indulged you too much in the past!"

I offered her no explanation.

In my past life, after Valerian died, Eleanor forced me to my knees before his grave and had me write a confession admitting my crimes.

I had merely asked, "Why should I?" when she ordered her guards to force my head down and slam it against the cobblestones, again and again, until blood stained the ground.

She had only said coldly, "If I had a second chance, I would never let you hurt him again."

Now, as if stung by the look in my eyes, Eleanor suddenly threw down the whip.

I collapsed to the ground, the wounds covering my body so painful that cold sweat broke out across my skin.

Not far away, Starlight was pinned down by the guards.

Eleanor raised her bow.

My heart skipped a beat, and I lunged forward to grab the hem of her clothes. "Your Highness! It was only startled! Please, I beg you, spare it! Don't kill it..."

But Valerian lightly coughed twice, looked at Eleanor, and said in a trembling voice, "Your Highness, I don't feel good..."

The very next second, the bowstring sang, and a sharp arrow tore through the air before piercing straight through Starlight's neck.

"No!" My eyes widened with rage as I scrambled and crawled toward it.

Starlight lay in a pool of blood, struggling to turn its head and nuzzle my palm, as gentle as when Grandfather had lifted me onto its back as a child. Then, it stopped moving.

Tears blurred my vision instantly.

Eleanor's hand on the bow stiffened for a moment, then she looked away. "This beast deserved to die for harming the prince consort."

Valerian said softly, "Your Highness, don't blame Luke. He just cares too much about this horse. After all, Grandfather left it to him."

Eleanor took his arm and turned away. "Come on, let's go find you a better one."

I watched as Starlight went cold, bit by bit, and finally understood that some things, once dead, were never coming back.